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Waking up to another summer.

Posted on Jun 25th, 2008 by Angelica : mmhmmm Angelica
This is where I want to write my summer adventures--because daily there are a handful of things that take my breath away and teach me something, and these memories I would like to both keep and share through writing it here.

 I have been going to college in Wisconsin for the past two years, coming home to Portland for the summers.  Last summer my life changed forever--the things I had been working on forever like lovingkindness, fearless self-expression (aka not being shy), and understanding and accepting people came to a head.  I learned so much that I wish the whole world could see the things that I see, the beauty that life offers me everyday through both pain and joy.  And I'm serious.  Life is an absurd, beautiful ride for me.  And it started out rough; I was homeless and poor in my childhood, both my parents used heroin and meth, I was molested by too many people to count on 4 hands, my mother committed suicide when I was 13, I went through the foster care system, etc etc.  Fact is, life hasnt been easy.  Obviously it still isn't, but I know that life is a miracle, and I know that people get confused by how fucked up life can be, and I hope to one day help people become disillusioned. 
So now...I am living in my dad's house for the summer, sharing a king sized bed with my almost 17 year old sister (and one of my best friends), teaching my family about cooking healthier food (so my dad dies less soon; he has cancer + is a smoker...), listening and talking to strangers, running around this beautiful world.

So theres my intro.
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A small family reunion and sauvie's island

Posted on Jun 28th, 2008 by Angelica : mmhmmm Angelica
Today I went to the beach with family I havent seen since I was maybe 12 years old.  I marveled at their absurd beauty, at the knowledge that they embody what my judging sense would call "hick" and the dual knowledge that they are bright beautiful beings who I love so much--for their humor, their warmth, for the way they speak.  I smoked with my cousin and laid in the hot sand looking at the water and the blue mountains, feeling the hot yet cooling wind touch me in both a sensual and comforting manner, and in that moment, I felt blessed.  Blessed for family, blessed for the smell of the earth and even the density of blood borrowing mosquitos.  Thank you life for loving me the way that you do.
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