I'm old.

Well angie, I think there is nothing wrong with a difference of age…When I was in my 30's I was going out with guys in their 20's, I never went out with a guy older than me probably more than once. I don't think that is an issue…

However I do think there is an issue. First of all he will most likley be free and crazy for a few more years, and for sure, you can get hurt…At 16 he is too young for you,….After twenty, doesn't really matter so much… When I think about going out with a gentleman who is maybe 20 years younger than I am, which happens all the time, I know I first have to apprise his situation and mine, and ask myself  why?? What do I want with this man? Can he be a man that I can have a future with; will he want to get serious with me…. or is he looking for someone to marry that is his own age…because we must not use one another, and if we genuinely like someone, then we want to be fair in every way, we want to build bridges of trust and understanding….we don't want to play any games and we need to be open and honest about what our purpose is…If we do go out, it isn't fair to get involved at all on a phyical level at all before we bolth know what we are looking for…or  we have made a committment to one another and are not just playing. If that happens without a proper foundation, both of you will have a very difficult time making objective decisions about whether or not you are right for one another…..You need to know that first….and proceed later, and with caution and composure…And just in case you grow to love someone, well – you have to know you have the potential to marry, so you need to establish some things before getting involved, No??  Otherwise you will set  both of you up for heartbreak and start a thread of going in and out of relationships for all of the wrong reasons, I hope that makes sense to you..

Of course, at 20 you are already a young woman…and really should be going out with someone close to your own age because their is a vast difference between 16 and twenty in maturity…Sixteen is very young, still a teenager…I don't think its fair to expect much from him and you could wind up giving him your heart and it could even last for a few months or more…..but then what??  Over twenty, its a different case, and the older the better, age disappears with maturity..

16 is not a man yet…he has some years to go before he will be ready for serious thoughts about loving anyone with any real committment or maturity…or even knowing what loving a young woman is all about…

Be careful and think about what it is you really do want with this boy…this is where the rubber meets the road…its in our honesty to ourself..I know because I ask myself the same questions. I ask, will I want to love this man, and will it be something that has potential for marriage, you might not be ready for that, but these are questions nevertheles…You need to ask, if  he mature enough for  you…will he want a young woman older than himself — and can he deal with it?? What is he looking for?? At 16, probably to test the waters, to dabble and to play…. If you think he wants to play house, then for sure, that shouldn't be for you…at 16 he cannot be looking for anything serious, so are you willing to be like a big sister to him?? Whatever the questions might be, we do need to address them before walking into something and count the cost..This might even be way above your head, but it should not be…you are old enough now to understand that you want to be treated properly, with respect – not played with…If that is the case, which I hope it is, these are honest questions that need to be answered..

I hope that helps…

yaffa